I’ve started watching Korean dramas in 2005/6, and I am still addicted to this phenomenon. I’ve tried peeling myself away from them but they’ve a l w a y s sucked me back into their arms. I spend countless hours on my computer going through every episode and series. If only I picked up the language by now!!! Then I wouldn’t have to wait around for subtitles to be released. I hate being this reliant. I’m waiting for Stars Falling From the Sky to air its latest episode and for the subtitles to Pasta to be released. Daaaaaaang it.
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I feel like I am at a vulnerable stage in my life right now. Everything seems like it can crash down at any moment, but I’m so scared to take any action. I wish I were a woman of action, rather than of words. What use do words do if I cannot convince myself to move forward in my life? I keep telling myself it is only a matter of just doing it. But wouldn’t you agree that some of the things you need to do or want to do require a lot of summoned strength and courage? I’ve been fearing the unknown and have unsuccessfully convinced myself that it (the unknown) will not harm me. At the same time, what use does it do for me to sit at home and watch Grey’s Anatomy and Private Practice if it weren’t to benefit me? I’ve had ample time to rest during my winter break… Now that school has started up again, I am overwhelmed by my tight schedule. I’ve gotten so exhausted from my long schedule that I went to bed a quarter to nine one night. Oh, I remember… on a Friday night. LOL Craziness. I need to refill my energy level somehow…
I have an amazing professor for my Successful Personal Finance class. I was afraid he didn’t have any actual personal finance success and was going to just teach what he learned from the book, but it turns out that he is a very, very, very successful man. I still haven’t learned to stop judging by a person’s appearance. Tsk tsk. The three hours in this class is thoroughly enlightening and entertaining. I am going to hang on to every word. I truly need it.
My Vietnamese class is challenging. Vietnamese pronunciation is the hardest language I’ve learned so far. English= good, Spanish= so-so, Korean= so-so, Vietnamese= by far the HARDEST. My throat becomes so sore. Haha This is such a comedic class to be in though. Hearing people attempt to pronounce it correctly makes all of us crack up into laughter. There was this Caucasian man who petitioned for this class but figured it was too difficult so he didn’t come back. I wanted to hear him try his best at it; it would’ve been hilarious each time. Hahaha I’m excited to be able to better communicate with my parents and the people of my culture. My knowledge of my heritage is probably zippity zero. I’ll have tons to learn.
My drama and acting class is going to one that nit and picks at my creative juice. I have absolutely zero creativity in this area, but I’ll try my best to move out of my comfort zone. I’ve spent too long of a period of my life in a shell; I need to break out.
My beginning piano class is going to be easy peasy. I’ve taken this class in high school and am more prepared than some students. (THANKFULLY!!)
I hope to have a fun semester with these classes. They’re pretty much in the art area. This is probably the first semester that I get to immerse myself in classes that will develop my self-awareness.
Jaemin is leaving on a flight to return to Korea today. It’s happening so quickly. He got the news on Monday and is flying out within 4 days. My meeting with him was interesting and insightful. I learned that I’m not as patient as I thought I would be while conversing with an ESL student. I always thought (or wanted) to be the ideal person teaching someone else english as a second language… being kind and understanding that they don’t understand and not judging them for learning and grasping the concept slowly. I am obviously to blame because english is a very difficult language. I’m not fluent myself. I wish that he will successfully graduate with his degree and work towards a better life for himself and parents. I truly wish him the best.
My finals are over! They’ve been over, actually. I have been flying free for a week , and am too embarrassed to send e-mails to my professors to ask them to send me my grades. So, I’m waiting until the school system updates my transcript with them. For now, I am certain I have an A in my British Literature course and possibly a B in Political Science. I’m anxious to know what I’ve gotten in my American and World Literature classes. I’ve been checking and refreshing my school’s portal page daily but nothing is posted!! It’s normally posted after a week the semester ends, but the holidays delay everything. I’m wanting to know but am fearful of what I may see. I know I shouldn’t expect much since I didn’t put as much effort as I should have into these two classes.
2009 is coming to a close in 4 days. Who would’ve thunk this year would end so quickly? I don’t know what I’ve done all year long or how time has flown by so quickly. I’m kind of lost in time! I hope that I will have a better year in 2010. I hope that I will accomplish more things I’ve been wanting to do but haven’t done because I’ve been procrastinating/ fearful. I hope that I will do things and act upon them immediately, so I can get them done (obviously, I need to STOP procrastinating!!!!). I should really stop with it, since I complain that I have nothing to do, but always push everything back to the last minute. -__- I finally see that I’ve got tons to do, but haven’t really wanted to do them. Haha Lame. I don’t plan on writing out a specific list for my new year’s resolution. I don’t ever stick to what I’ve written down; I actually don’t follow them to spite it. Odd, right? One would think that writing it down would encourage me to stick with it… but when I do that, I regress and hold back. I guess it’s because it’s forecasting my future, and I don’t want to know it. (I don’t want to have my palms read by a psychic or horoscopes. Those things effect me to no end. It irks me because I know I shouldn’t believe in them, but I cannot help believing like those words will come into fruition!!! Psychology confuses me!) Anyhow, I’m steering clear from writing down specifics.
The end of this year has progressed a bit better than the beginning. I’m slightly developing a communicable relationship with the males of the family. I’ve grown up almost attached to my sisters’ hips… but have cast a distance between myself and brothers.
I’m finally studying the Korean language again. (다시~~~~!!) It’s been such a long time. I’ve begun to write out lyrics in Hangul, and it is helping me a lot more than studying out of the book. I get to practice writing, reading, and listening all at the same time; this method is a lot more fun than what I’ve done in the past. Reciting from the text book didn’t help since 1) I couldn’t learn the correct pronunciation, 2) I kept falling asleep because there was an awful lot to stomach, and 3) (on a separate note) having a native Korean teach me isn’t going too well… 😦
Side note: I need to replenish my writing juice. I’m on empty. 😦
이승환 “사랑이 어떻게 그래요”
>>>>> I like the melody of this song (haven’t a clue what it’s about).. Finally recognized that it reminds me of Nell’s style!
panicking… but I’m not. haha
My first final is tomorrow and I’m not prepared. Take a guess as to if I mind. . . . ?